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Kai has been religiously, obsessively checking the irs website to see if it has any updated information on when our tax return is going to get here. Well a few days ago he excitedly tells me the website says it should be here by the 25th. HOORAY! Awesome right? Well we’ve been checking the mail like stalker ex girlfriends to be disappointed every day with no check. :( Then he checks it again, yesterday. On the way home he says “Oh, by the way… You know how I said our check should be here by the 25th? Well it says the 25th of May….”. *slump* Nooooooooooooo! t.t I am deeply saddened. I was so excited to be able to finally get caught up on bills and pay everything off.

Since we don’t plan on ever being in an apartment again, and we have a lawn here, that by the way is starting to turn into a miniature jungle. We plan on buying a lawnmower with some of the tax refund. We honestly don’t have the money to rent one, nor do we have the money to pay someone to do it. But if we can buy a lawnmower while we have the chance we won’t have to worry about that. It also doesn’t help that the crazy, psychopath, neurotic, asshole neighbor behind us has been hanging over our fence shaking his head. -.- Go away jerkface. We know you don’t approve of our yard, we know you don’t approve of us not using pesticides and crap on our lawn. But you know what we don’t approve of you letting your evil little growling mutts outside every time we have the kids in the backyard. Nor do we like your rotten holier than thou attitude nor the fact that we can hear you every night screaming at your wife or whoever she may be and cussing her out. Oh and by the way, Oregon is banning all pesticides and chemicals. Have fun with that!

Seriously he’s a freaking nutcase. Every time we try to take Fumiko into the back yard he opens his sliding glass door and lets his barking, growling dogs out. Every time we have to bring Fumiko back in because they will bite her. They’ve tried before. She unfortunately is not afraid of them. So she’ll run right over to them and try to pet them. That’s all we need is for her to stick her hand through the fence and have a nub. -.-

Blah. I hope our tax return gets here way before May 25th. It would be so helpful. I’m tired of being stressed over bills. I am also tired of seeing ads about diet pills for women. Seriously they are everywhere. Go awaaaaay!


I would like one. :( Life is exhausting right now. So much is going on much of which I can’t really discuss. But I’ll say my moms health is very poor right now, poor enough that she’s terrified she’s going to die and wants to work on a will and other things. It’s been so emotional. I need a break. Oh well. I am behind on so many things it’s not even funny.

Sascha talked to his teacher yesterday. He was able to read her one of his HeadSprout books with no real problems. He only had trouble with one word and had to sound it out. He’s doing very well. Our law is getting… tall. :( I need to borrow a lawn mower. But I don’t know anyone who has one. I asked Russ but he is slow and has yet to respond to my question on facebook. Bleh. We need our tax refund to get here asap. :( Need to look up car insurance stuff. We may need to find a new auto insurance quote. This post was pretty pointless I think. I don’t really know what to say. There are things I am not quite ready to talk about and others that I really shouldn’t right now. I still have yet to get that review up and I haven’t even requested a new review from Eden Fantasys. I want to wait until I know I’ll have time to do it.


So remember when I got new glasses back in… January? I *just* took a picture today. hehehe I’ve had a lot going on. It’s been pretty emotional.

Sascha got sick a few days ago. He wasn’t really sick, sick. But he had a headache and was cold. He was laying on the couch, went to stand up and just started throwing up everywhere. I never knew an 8 year old could throw up that much. He’s thrown up a lot before. But not quite like this. Got him in the bath and spent awhile cleaning it up. Ick. He didn’t fall asleep until around 3 :3 0am that morning. I waited until almost 4am when I knew he was asleep and went to take a shower. As I am in the bathroom getting undressed I hear my phone ring. My first thought? “No… it can’t be…” I go get my phone to have it start ringing again. Yes, it was. It was my mom. :( I answered and she told me she needed to go to the ER. So I spent the rest of that morning in the ER with my mom to have them tell her she’s fine and to go home. She wasn’t fine. The doctors attitude about the whole thing really angered me. He reluctantly referred her to a cardiologist. *sigh*

Then Thursday after no sleep and being pretty emotional my mom received an email from an old acquaintance in Michigan. The jist of the email was that Rene’s grandmother was trying to reach us to let us know she had passed away in December of 2007… I hadn’t heard from her since about August of 2007. I didn’t have her new number and couldn’t get a hold of her. All these years I had hoped she was healing and doing better, that one day she would call me or find me online. She was so ill last time Kai and I saw her. She was skin and bone and her body was in so much pain and was so inflamed. I looked up her death certificate online… She passed away on December 29, 2007. The day I went into labor with Fumiko. It hit me like a ton of bricks. I am happy that she is no longer suffering. But I so wish I could have said goodbye to her. Had one last talk with her. Last time I talked to her it was to tell her that I was having a girl and her name would be Fumiko. She was so excited and happy. She couldn’t wait to meet her. Rene would have adored Fumiko. She would be so proud of Sascha today. She loved him like he was her own. I really, truly believed she would be okay.


There has been a lot going on. I’ve finally made the decision to let Sascha go to Michigan for the year. After he goes through his tutoring program, which he got accepted into yay! He’ll stay with his grandparents for the school year. Sue is going to home school him. It’ll be really good for him. He’ll have all the one on one time he needs for school and all of the love and support and care from his grandparents and his dad and Dianna. So it will be good for him. I just don’t want him dealing with all that is going on here right now. He shouldn’t have to. So that was a very big decision for me. But it was the right one to make I think.

There has just been a lot going on and it’s been very stressful and emotional. My period just started and I swear I was just on it. Ugh. I’ve got another review I need to get up as well. Hopefully I’ll have that up in the next day or so. I’ve been trying to work on a plan to lose weight. It’s not going so well with everything going on in my life. I did check out But I’m not looking for a miracle pill to help me lose it. So meh. Oh well back to work.


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