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A summary of the past week


So um just a warning. This post is all over the place, like seriously. Like I’m a freaking bunny hopping down 200 bunny trails and not actually getting anywhere. Or something. I guess having your brain not work, and then being on Vicodin will do that to you. Anyways.

This past week was exhausting and stressful. I’d been having severe jaw/tooth pain for the past month and hoped it was because of my braces, and not an infection. My braces were removed Tuesday, much to my orthodontist’s dismay. After telling me that my teeth were so damaged they might fracture when they remove the brackets, he told me I should leave them on and finish the treatment. Say what? Yeah, I don’t think so. I wish I had known when I first got my braces, what was going to end up happening as a result of having Lyme disease. But I daresay, no one knew. After having my teeth fixed with fillings, crowns and what not, after almost 4 years of continuous torture: I have an allergy to latex, the bands that they used for my braces had something like .04% latex, it kept my mouth constantly inflamed and sore, more-so at night, I had screws screwed into my upper and lower jaw, not once, not twice but a total of three times, due to minor mistakes, and then the general intensified pain because of the Lyme, my teeth always seemed to hurt, and the spaces in my teeth almost completely closed, I had to have my back right molar removed on Friday. I should rewind a little.

After having my braces removed, it eased the pain, but my teeth, one tooth actually still hurt pretty bad. So on Thursday I had a doctor’s appointment. I went in to have my iud removed, and to see about the depo provera shot, and to also talk to the doctor about lyme disease. I have to say, the doctor was very sweet, and kind, and compassionate. She had to have thought I was nuts. I started crying almost immediately when she asked me a question. I wrote up a list of symptoms, four pages long, yes I said four pages long. I left those there. Funny story, she left a folded up piece of paper on the table, which I thought was a paper robe, and told me just to take my undies off since I was wearing a dress, then asked if I wanted Kharizma to stay. Seriously, Kharizma was in the room at the birthing center while I nearly turned into a prune in the tube, and while I delivered Fumiko on the bed, I think I’m okay with her staying. So she left and I unfolded the paper to realize it had no arm holes and it was uh just a paper blanket to drape over me. So I awkwardly took my undies off and sat on the table and struggled to pull my dress up far enough so that it was out of the way. I hate this part, seriously, I feel so, open I guess and vulnerable. Anyways the doctor came back in and uh had me scoot down several feet, alright it was about one foot, and then put my feet in those cold stirrups. Lubed me up, which I also hate, and inserted the stirrup tool, I can’t remember what it’s called, but it makes me think of stirrups on a horse saddle, no I don’t know why.

She took my iud out, which was painful and briefly felt my uterus which was incredibly painful. She was kind enough to walk me through everything step by step. She also let me see the iud, which was surprisingly not coated in goo, or blood, but went from being a pretty orange copper color, to um black. I hope that’s normal… I was so nervous scared out of my mind that my blood pressure went up. Surprise, surprise. The nurse who took it even asked if I was nervous, in case it wasn’t blatantly obvious by the shaking, being flush. Everything she asked me, went back to lyme. She was concerned with my iud, and my symptoms for why I was there, however I was there to have my iud taken out because of my issues with lyme, and I felt that was why I was having issues with the iud. After briefly talking with her about lyme, she asked me to come back in a couple of weeks to have an actual yearly exam and so I could talk to her in detail about lyme, and also so she would have the results of all the blood tests they were doing.

So getting my blood drawn is never fun. It’s for whatever reason extremely hard to hit my veins I guess. They don’t roll, and they’re easy to see, so I’m not sure exactly what the issue is. It’s very common for my blood to have to be drawn on the inside of my wrist, or top of my hand. This time it was taken from the inside of my elbow, and that stopped giving blood about halfway through the third vial, so she moved about halfway between my elbow and wrist, and was able to finish the last vial. Though, I’m not sure what’s up. The bruises have continually gotten worse since I had blood drawn, and get more sensitive and painful every day. Normally it turns dark and tender the first day, then gradually gets better. Anyways. She decided to run blood tests on everything under the sun, and definitely for lyme. She made mention of leukemia and cancer while I was getting my blood drawn. The lyme test scares me. Last time I had it done, I had 3 of 5 markers, and you’re supposed to have 5 of 5 to be positive for lyme. However most specialists say/know you have to do a clinical diagnosis along with a test, because the test is highly inaccurate. So I hope that, if it comes back with less than 5 again, that she knows it often takes a clinical diagnoses. I don’t want to be told again that I’m fine, when I’m not. The ND I saw was completely convinced I had lyme disease despite my test coming back with only 3 markers. I don’t know what else I could possibly have when I have literally four pages of side effects that all match lyme. So yes, I’m scared and frustrated.

Oh and I had to pee in a cup. Almost twice. After my depo shot, which didn’t hurt at all by the way, I asked if there was any way she could give me a prescription for pain pills until our next appointment. I didn’t want to ask, I’ve tried to avoid pain pills for a long time, I’ve seen so many people become addicted, but at the same time, I literally can’t function because of the amount of pain I’m in. But I asked anyways. She offered to give me a prescription for Tramadol, which in her words is like Vicodin only less addicting. Then she told me because of the amount of people who come in to abuse pain medication I needed to take another pee test… What? But I just peed, like less than 10 minutes ago. Really, again? I didn’t have to go at all. I even asked for water to try to have to go again. Then the doctor left to write the prescription, and I was supposed to try to pee again, and the nurse came in to give me my depo shot, and then handed me my prescription and said I didn’t have to pee in a cup again because it was still warm and she knew it was mine. Hah. Thanks, no really, thank you.

Sooo we get my prescription and she also gave me a paper with the date on it that I need to come back for my next shot, because there’s only a 10 day window. We went up to the front desk, where the receptionist, who by the way was really scary and mean when I first arrived was still working and this time appeared to be much nicer. She then informed me that the people who make the appointments for women’s wellness checkups weren’t in and would have to call me tomorrow, which was a Friday and that I would have to call back in about 2 weeks to make an appointment for my next shot because the June calendar wasn’t out yet. Oookay. Oh and the pharmacy there was closed too.

So Kharizma and I ended up going to the 24hour Walgreens right next to where Kai works. I got my prescription for like 5 something. Thank the universe that Kai’s prescription insurance thing finally got sorted out, cause it saved us 20 something dollars. So now I have my Tramadol, and Kharizma picked up some ice, and a couple of Reese’s peanut butter cup eggs, which she shared with me. <3 Then we were off to her house to pick up booze. Yes we decided to celebrate St. Patrick’s Day with margaritas. Which we did, and they were good. And then I took my Tramadol later that night. It worked well. It didn’t completely erase my pain, but I think it took the edge off.

Then I woke up at 3am with the most awful pain ever in my jaw, that radiated up into my ear and halfway up the side of my face. I took another Tramadol, it didn’t help at all. I spent the rest of the night tossing and turning and putting pressure on my lower jaw trying to ease the pain, to no avail. When Kai woke up I told him what was happening and he had me call the dentist. Awesome they got me scheduled for 1pm that afternoon. So I promptly sent Kharizma a text message to see if she could go with me, and she could. So we went to the dentist at 1230ish since the weather was bad. So the dentist visit was awful. After looking at my tooth he told me that the tooth I had with a silver filling, which had half missing because it fell out, had a cavity so bad it was down to the bone, and was also infected. He then told me that it was highly unlikely he could save the tooth even with a root canal and crown. Then he had the assistant take an x-ray, which only confirmed what he thought. So I cried. Why? Because I’d just gone through 4ish years of hell trying to fix my teeth, only to have to have a brand new hole put in my mouth. Seriously all the money, and time, and pain just went down the toilet and there was nothing I could do.

He recommended that I have the tooth extracted, and focus on the other teeth that needed repair. He was very nice. He felt bad and was concerned because of the rapid decline in my health and my teeth. He knows I take care of my teeth, he even pointed out that there was no damage or plaque on the underside of my teeth, only on the outside where the braces were. He pointed this out in my file because the Orthodontist had made a note about poor hygiene, which I’ve not had with my teeth. Unlike the orthodontist, my dentist knew and understood that I have lyme and that it does cause severe damage to the mouth/teeth. Anyways. He thought I should have it extracted, so I asked when I could, and told him as soon as possible would be great because I was in horrible pain. He ended up having the receptionist call a client to reschedule them so he could do it then. Fortunately they were able to reschedule, so they prepped me to yank out my tooth. He numbed it topically with some nasty tropical fruit tasting numbing thing, then ended up giving me 5 shots. Which by the way were horrible, not because they hurt so much, well they did hurt, but because every time he poked me, I could hear popping and weird noises and the needle went deeper. Seriously I was ready to throw up before he poked me the 3rd time.

So they let the numbing junk do it’s job, though I must say this is the first time I haven’t had a half numb nose. It was nice. Though half of my tongue was numb instead. So then uh they kept coming in checking on me to see how numb I was. Meanwhile I was bored and using twitter on my phone and text messaging Kharizma in the waiting room telling her about being injected. hehe So the dentist finally decides I’m numb enough and is waiting for his assistant who doesn’t show up so he literally says “I’m tired of waiting, let’s get that tooth out” then tells me about a dream he had where he had his assistant seat a patient and set them up, and he came in and took care of them and ushered them out before the assistant came back, went to his office and then asked the assistant where the patient went. haha Then he grabbed these massive plier things that were heated up and literally pulled my tooth out. Which smelled really gross by the way because of the giant cavity and infection. Ugh. I apparently bleed a lot. Blood started dripping out and down the corner of my mouth.

The assistant came back just as he pulled my tooth out and immediately started blotting the blood and the dentist gave me a folded up cotton square to bite down on. Which was gross, and bloody, and ick. So after that they let me see the tooth. Which was neat and gross at the same time. I took a picture, does that make me weird? It looked totally normal, until you turned it over, then there was a giant honking cavity, I don’t think it could even be considered a cavity at that point, it was like cavity dust, when the dentist dropped it on the metal tray, the decay fell out and was like a fine powder. It was a really big tooth too. He said I’d probably have a hole there for a good 2-3 months. I also asked if I would need anything for the infection, and he said it was kind of like having a splinter and then pulling it out. Once you pull out the splinter it stops hurting. So he said the pain from the infection should be gone in a few days, which it seems to be now. And he gave me a prescription for Vicodin, which I didn’t actually ask for, but I guess the assistant typed out in my file that the Tramadol didn’t help with the pain, so he decided to prescribe me something that would. He only gave me 12 to get me through the worst of the pain. I’m really glad he did. It’s helped a lot.

So um after my dentist appointment Kharizma and I went back to Walgreens and got another prescription and I came home, took a Vicodin and went to sleep. Seriously I’ll say it again. I never knew how much pain I was in until I was pain free for a short time, and it all came rushing back. The Vicodin has left me pretty much pain free. Seriously, I did the dishes and cleaned my own kitchen for the first time in probably 6 months. I think I may have overdone it a little though, when the Vicodin wore off I thought I was dying. I’ve been able to actually clean and do normal wife and mama things in the last few days. Since I only had a couple of Vicodin left I avoided taking any this morning. This afternoon before I finally took one, Fumiko looks at me and says “Mommy, take your medicine, so you be happy.” Seriously. I never wanted to ever be that person. And then the other day Kinon asked me why I was cleaning the kitchen, and I said “Because I’m not in pain, and I’m on Vicodin.”. Which was true. So then later he says “You’re like Dr. House, you can do anything on Vicodin.” I don’t want to depend on pain medication to be able to function, but I can’t function in pain. So what do you do?

So this week has been emotional and exhausting and hard. NARA never called me to schedule an appointment, and I forgot to call today to do it. I also forgot to make another appointment at the dentist. I guess I’ll do those tomorrow. I’ve also decided I’m going to order some Special Effects hair dye and dye my hair red. I’m going to do a swatch on my skin to make sure it’s not going to cause me to break out. So cross your fingers, I want my hair to be red because it’s dyed, not because it’s bleeding. Haha.

Luna
About me

I run this blog! This blog is a personal blog for all things beauty related. I love swatching, reviewing and hosting giveaways. I've been blogging since I was 16 years old... That's uh a long time. I am now 34! Sometimes I like to blog about my life and what is going on, but not often anymore. I hope you enjoy my blog posts!

  • Being in daily, chronic pain is awful… I’m so sorry you had to go through all this. It sounds like the doctor and dentist (not ortho) you’ve seen at least are actually listening to you and trying to help. Sometimes, as much as we’d like to avoid taking medications (especially painkillers), it’s that instant when it finally kicks in.. And there’s no pain. Or the majority of it is gone… It’s like the body gives a great, big sigh of relief. Yeah, they make me loopy and tired, but I can function a little better in that state. It’s true- you don’t know how much pain you’re really in until you have a brief period of relief. There’s a study that was done in regards to narcotic/addictive painkillers, and in people who suffer and live with chronic pain, it shows they (we) don’t get “addicted” to them like those who have mild to moderate pain and get those sorts of meds. It’s a function in our brain where it goes “YES! I don’t hurt so bad! Can you believe I let it get that bad?!”, and weaning ourselves off the “addictive” drugs is quite easy provided the pain has been cured, or at least greatly lessened, through other treatments.

    Do not fear my friend- there IS a light at the end of the tunnel, and there will be a day you won’t be in pain anymore <3 I don’t have Lyme, but I do have severe problems stemming from a bad car accident which is now impacting my back… So I can sympathize as to how exhausting and depressing living with chronic pain is. I hope you find some sort of relief that’s longer lasting!

    • NARA just called me today. I was supposed to go back in, in 2 weeks, but they asked me to come in Friday to discuss my test results. I’m not sure what that means, but hopefully there are answers, or something.

      • My fingers are crossed, and wishing you the BEST of luck for good news!

  • I cannot imagine going through what you are. It’s heart-breaking to think of how difficult everyday must be for you. I really don’t think you should feel bad about the Vicodin, because you genuinely need it. It’s not like you’re using it for fun, you are in real pain and are a better person when you aren’t in pain constantly. *hugs*

    • I avoided taking pain medication for so long because I didn’t want to be some hopped up zombie. But now I wish I hadn’t waited, because I would have been able to function better hopped up on pain medication, than being sick in bed. Oh well. Live and learn, right?