Hello Death

I feel like death. That’s the only way I can describe how I feel right now. I’ve been off of the gabapentin for a few days and I feel more awful than usual and now extremely panicked. I still can’t keep anything but watered down juices down. I feel like I’m starving. Just when I think I’ve finally eaten something that I’m not going to puke back up, up it comes.

I saw our chiropractor yesterday. I think it was yesterday. I can’t remember now. My mom pretty much made the appointment for me and forced me to go after falling in the shower. It’s been well over a year since I’ve seen him. Only because my body is so sensitive even using the lightest setting on his activator tool it hurts like a bitch. I’m not sure how many times I cried on the way to the chiropractor yesterday, but I know I cried for my entire visit and ended up having a panic attack after my adjustment. Between the pain and the vertigo from the table coming back up I just lost it.

The pain from the adjustment as gentle as he was, was incredibly overwhelming and excruciating. Being car sick and dizzy from the trip there didn’t help. I’m supposed to go back in Tuesday. I can’t say I’m looking forward to it, because I’m not. I know in the long, really, really long run it’ll be helpful. But right now my body is screaming and stiff, and I hurt so bad. I’ve been dizzy constantly for the last couple of days, and I’ve had a migraine since yesterday that won’t go away. My stomach has ached for over a week now. All of my muscles and joints and bones ache and burn and hurt. Last night one or both of my arms from the tips of my fingers up to my shoulder were numb and I couldn’t sleep. My right hand and fingers keep going numb off and on today. My heart/chest won’t stop aching and I feel like I’m suffocating.

All I want to do is cry and sleep, and I can’t sleep and can’t not cry. I’m miserable and I hurt. I don’t want to complain, I want to suck it up, but I can’t. Literally everything hurts, I hurt, and I feel like I’m going crazy.

About me

I run this blog! This blog is a personal blog for all things beauty related. I love swatching, reviewing and hosting giveaways. I've been blogging since I was 16 years old... That's uh a long time. I am now 34! Sometimes I like to blog about my life and what is going on, but not often anymore. I hope you enjoy my blog posts!

  • so sorry to hear about all these. i have low pain tolerance and i hate any kind of pains. i don’t know how you go through it :( sending you lots of virtual hugs. hope you feel better soon.

  • OH hun I am so sorry you are feeling so awful… My cousin’s hubby has Lyme disease it took them forever to diagnose him with it.

  • Amanda

    Sending prayers, love, and positive thoughts your way! I hope relief will come to you soon! <3

  • Big hugs, sweetie. This too shall pass. just take it one day at a time. Or even one hour at a time, if need be. <3 <3

  • I’m so sorry to hear you’re feeling bad. I’ve been thinking about you and hope you feel better really soon!