Some things just don’t change

I haven’t been feeling well so everything is on hold. Between health issues and personal matters, things have been pretty stressful. Not sure if I’ve had a stomach bug, food poisoning or if these are new symptoms with lyme but I’ve been sick for about a week. I’ve been having balance issues[1. OH HAI almost falling down the stairs not once but twice this week.], and the past few days I’ve developed issues with speaking. Oh joy. I know it’s common to have speech issues with lyme, so I’m assuming that’s what it’s from, this is the first time I’ve had this issue though. And then all the common junk: nose bleeds, numbness, tingling, stabbing/shooting pains, muscle pains, joint pains, etc. My body has been really stiff from the cold. I could have sworn I broke my knee some how when I tried to bend it after having my feet propped up on the chair next to me. On the bright side the sharp piece of tooth that was cutting my tongue broke off yesterday while I was chewing on some half melted ice. Hooray…

I don’t think the cymbalta is working for me. Pretty sure it’s making things worse. I feel more depressed, more panicked and more anxiety since I started back on it. Emotionally I’m a train wreck. I’ve had a couple of mini meltdowns and a panic attack since being back on it. I feel hopeless with my health. I’m hoping that when I start doing my earring thing it’ll keep me occupied enough not to sit and dwell on everything going on with my health and brain. Hopefully this speech issue is temporary and I won’t sound like I don’t have two brain cells to rub together for too long. It doesn’t help that I’ve been forgetting what I was doing halfway through doing it. Or like today I was talking to my mom and couldn’t remember why I was even telling her what I was telling her. I just couldn’t remember the thought was gone. I started crying because I couldn’t remember what I’d just told her, or what I was going to tell her. Blargh. Things have to get better. ikoni

About me

I run this blog! This blog is a personal blog for all things beauty related. I love swatching, reviewing and hosting giveaways. I've been blogging since I was 16 years old... That's uh a long time. I am now 34! Sometimes I like to blog about my life and what is going on, but not often anymore. I hope you enjoy my blog posts!

  • I’m sorry you’re going through all of those things. My best wishes for you!

  • T

    Hang in there – it does get better. I’ve had endless trouble with antidepressants – it’s more normal for them to NOT work than for them to work! Sending you positive healing vibes <3

  • Daintynymph

    Don’t think it’s your imagination if your medication is making things worse. The fact that most antidepressants have suicidal thoughts as a side effect means that you always need to be really careful when figuring out medication. I hope you can get back to the doctor and switch it out with something else before it gets even worse.

    I’ve got Benign Positional Paroxysmal Vertigo, which means I have a good idea of what you mean when you curse balance problems. Normally it’s been better, but lately since I’ve been having some sinus issues (winter, who’d guess), it’s acting up again.

    I’m sending lots of good vibes your way, I hope something improves!

  • Oh hon *tender hugs* I do understand…my chronics have similar symptoms (I HATE aphasia) and my memory is getting alarmingly worse. Anxiety always makes things seem worse–go with your gut, if you think it’s the med, tell your doc. I’ve had plenty of meds that were supposed to help and yet made me curl up in a fetal position with panic & anxiety.

    YOU ARE NOT ALONE. Sorry for the caps but I truly wanted you to know that. I understand about starting a project to keep your mind busy–my husband started a job after working from home for 12 yrs–and my kids went back to school, so it’s just me, the dog, the rat, and the fish. Yikes.

    I’d go mad if I didn’t have my computer and my online friends. I hope you know you can consider me one. Track me down however, I’m here for you.

    FWIW your writing looks just fine to me. Funny how we can even appear “well” just by the way we write, let alone having an “invisible” illness.

    Hang in there love. If I can crawl out of bed today I will light a candle for you. xo

  • Andrea

    Much strength and love for u