Edit 01/24/12 – I hope this will be the last edit. Grey popped back up and this is what she had to say. I hope to all that’s sacred in the universe that she pays everyone back and sends the companies back the product they sent her for AB. I don’t want to be cruel or harsh, but I don’t think I can ever trust her again. I will fully support her paying people back and trying to make things right, but I can’t trust her. I’m posting this here so you can take it as you will. If you believe her and forgive her, wonderful, I hope all that she’s said is the truth, but right now… I don’t know. I’m still quite angry and hurt about the whole situation and while I’m glad she explained things, I can’t help but feel something still isn’t right.
I’m going to start at the beginning, which is as good a place as ever.
Six years ago this June my father passed away unexpectedly. At the time, I was a few months pregnant with my second child. I snapped. Mentally and physically I could not take it and my daughter was born 11 weeks early via emergency c-section because I developed full blown eclampsia. You all can google this all you want, you’ll see yourself it’s true. The organ damage I had is still a lingering issue, one that I can deal with. What I cannot deal with is the emotional issues it gave me.
For a long time I was depressed. Anyone would be, loosing their father and having a child in the NICU. But soon people started to realize it was more then that. I realized it was more then that, but I was embarrassed and I hid it.
I was forced to leave a community under very bad circumstance, which I know you all know about in minute detail. I am legally unable to comment on this. There are enough people around who remember and know why. As much as I’d like to own up and apologize for it, I’m sure it won’t be any good.
Last Christmas my anxiety got out of control. My husband was overseas and was injured in Iraq. When he came home we had no idea what was going on, he needed to have spinal fusion surgery and we weren’t sure he was going to be able to stay in the military or what was going to happen. We could have lost our income, our home, and our insurance.
Simply put, I broke. My anxiety would swing wildly from being completely fine to me being unable to leave the house. I became more and more reliant on ordering from the internet so that I didn’t have to face people.
I would like to apologize for what I happened. My problems are NOT an excuse. I am NOT using these issues as an excuse.
The IMS was a success. The PO box was about half an hour away and some days I’d be able to make the drive easily, some days I wouldn’t. It took a while to get things organized, but I think it went well. And yet, when the time came for me to mail the packages out. I couldn’t. I knew I needed to take the international packages INTO the office and not just dump them. Some days this was a paralyzing thought. They sat for weeks in the back of the car and eventually I was just so embarrassed that I never sent them, they went into a box in my craft closest and I forgot about them. I mean, I knew they were there, but in my head I justified not sending them. I am very sorry for this and if I let you down. The packages are still in the closet and today someone is taking them to the PO for me and she’s mailing them.
There was, though, sincerely a problem with the local post office losing packages and there were a strong of people fired for selling things on eBay. I am not excusing my behavior at all, just adding that in. I had a lot of issues getting stuff myself, so I should have known how frustrated I must have made you feel.
When my husband was eventually on the mend and back around the house, he forced me to see a doctor and I was diagnosed with bipolar affective disorder. I was so so embaressed. I was ashamed I was not the wonderful and bright person I pretended to be. I was put on some medicine and for a while, we thought I was fine. I had some minor health issues, but they were easily tackled, and things seemed to be back on track.
Then we decided we’d try for a third child and I made the decision to come off my meds and once again. I spiral. I honestly thought I had things under control. I was working manically, though, as anyone who reads my blog could have probably noticed.
The same issues popped up with the intentional packages with AB. I was all of a sudden unable to mail them. I took two into the post office and the shipping on the one was ridiculous. So two did in fact arrive. The rest sat again, in the car, because I flaked.
I made mistakes. I was wrong. I am sorry that I let you down and that these things happened. I am not making excuses, I am trying to own up to my life and how I’ve lived it.
Last night two police officers showed up at my door to do a welfare check on my children. I was shocked. When I said I was walking away from the internet just after Christmas, I very honestly did. I was suddenly shown things that I didn’t know and I was hurt and afraid. I have paranoia issues, I will admit to that. I had no idea who to trust or what was going on and I walked away. I went to my mom’s for a couple of weeks and helped take care of her. She’s fine, btw, she’s now in the Keys with my aunt, who’s ‘watching over’ her. But when I got back after two weeks, I was done. I didn’t even log the computer on or anything. It was a struggle, I missed so many people. But I knew with my mental state and the way I handled things I couldn’t deal with it. I knew then I’d made mistakes and rather then deal with them I walked away.
It wasn’t until those officers showed up that I realized the mess I was in. One of them is friends with my husband and he shared with me that someone called in saying I’d made threats over the internet and that the voice was foreign. You might have issues with me, but I am a good mother. My children are the world to me and when they started crying in fear that they would be taken away, I knew that I did that to them. No one else but me. That is unexceptable and I am hear to own up for things for them. When I said thank you for being concerned for them, that was an honest statement. Sometimes things are what they are, no snark involved.
I had no idea the extent of things until this evening. I also had NO idea my blog was down until today, too. I just paid the WordPress fees in December, so it’s THERE, the domain is just expired. The thing is, I cannot log into WordPress now. The password was changed and the email associated with the account is not mine. I do not remember doing this. I am not insinuating anything, but if I could bring it back online I would. I STAND BEHIND MY WORK AND MY REVIEWS 100%.
I have never backed down from things and I am not going to now.
I know the indie world has been hurt by scandles in the past. It pains me that now I’M part of the problem. This was a world I lived and breathed for years, one that I was proud of and supported with all my heart. So please, do not stop supporting indie. Please do not use my mistakes against the amazing people who craft and do an honest business. I know people do not want their names associated with mine now, and I am sorry for that. As a crafty person myself (as you now know very well), this stuff is in my blood and I am so so so sorry I let you down. I apologize.
This had been hanging over my head for a while. IN fact, when I backed down from the Lime Crime thing, it was because she threatened to blackmail me with this information and to reveal my mental illness. You have no idea how good it feels to be out from under it. I have a LC Carousel gloss and I have NO FEAR now in stating that it sucks. Buy indie instead. I’d list a few companies who make amazing glosses, but I don’t think they’d want the attention at this point.
I am not going to disappear. I am going to stand here and own up to all of this and do everything I can to make it right. I started working on Paypal refunds for international packages, and as soon as my account if verified, I’ll send the remaining out. As I mentioned, the packages from the IMS swap are still here and will be going out later today. I full intend to make things right with those who I have wronged. There were two companies who’s packages I received for the February box. Those will be returned.
If you have a greivecne against me please contact me at firstname.lastname@example.org. I will address your issues as best as I can. I am limited in my internet, though. I think it’s safe to say I cannot be responsible with it. Until I get my life back on track I will continue to abstain myself from communities and social media. I will not disappear, though.
I would like to apologize to Phyrra. Last night just after the cops left I called her, she was the only number I had and I swore and said some things I should not have. You are a beautiful women inside and out and I am sorry to have hurt you or let you down.
Becca. Becca, I know all the nasty things you’ve said about me. Maybe I deserve them, but I thought you were my friend and I shared with you things I didn’t with anyone else. I don’t hold things against you because you must feel awfully hurt. You make an amazing product that I cannot live without.
Andrea. Thank you for all the kind and wonderful things you’ve said about me. I’m so so sorry I didn’t live up to them. You are an inspiration and I hope you know that.
Amanda, it was your blog that I read to find this mess. The things you wrote were very harsh, but I needed to hear them. I had fully intended to send your daughter a couple of MH dolls and the package is sitting here. You are a tough women, and yet fair.
There are some people who’ve come out of the woodwork to criticize me I honestly don’t know. I’m sorry I upset you so much.
In the past, and a LOT of you can attest to this, when I’ve made a mistake I’ve apologized. Please let me apologize now. I am not a zombie, or whatever else cruel names you’ve called me. I am a human being who has made mistakes. Please, for the love of GOD, please stop backstabbing each other and talking about each other behind people’s backs. It was the news of secret groups and spies that set me off. The indie community is amazing. It’s wonderful and the people in it creative and hardworking. You might not agree with each other and people make mistakes. Let it go. I am the PRIME example of what happens when you try to hide things and be something you’re not. I have issues. I gave 100% of myself to the blog and as I said, I stand behind it.
I’ve said time and time again “Everyone deserves a second chance.” Now you understand my motto. People make mistakes, but they can overcome them.
All I ask of you is this-
Remove my address from your posts. It’s caused some issues that I cannot manage.
Do not call my sister-in-law 73 times. The only thing she did was was share my unfortunate name.
Please remove my children’s information from your posts. They are just little and I went for as long as I did hiding them for a reason.
CONTACT ME PERSONALLY if you think I owe you something or you’d like an apology.
Copy and paste this, screen shot it like I know you will, but I stand behind my apology. I did wrong. I made mistakes. I admit them and I will do what I can to make things better. I’m going to be deleting my other accounts today, as I can, so that I am not tempted.
Like · · Follow Post · 16 minutes ago
Update: Here is the form to file a claim of mail fraud against Gina; considering many of you won’t be able to get your money back for various things because of Paypal’s time limitation, this may be your only recourse.
Update: It appears that a certain person hasn’t disappeared after all. Several of the links down there are now showing up as invalid. I guess she decided to finish cleaning up.
Updated to add a link to Zillah’s post on the same subject.
You probably aren’t aware of any issues with the Indie Style Awesome Box that Grey from LeGothique was running if you haven’t purchased a box and aren’t in the group. Unfortunately Grey has done a disappearing act, and it’s not the first time. If you haven’t received your awesome box and aren’t past the 45 day mark I highly suggest you file a paypal dispute. I don’t hink Grey is coming back anytime soon, at least as Georgina Grey.
I was hesitant to write about this. With the recent string of crazy shop owners and shops disappearing, it seemed like this might be the straw that broke the camels back. But since the groups are open and the info is out there now I figured I would. I haven’t seen really anyone talk about it outside of the facebook groups and a few things on twitter. So here you have it. Grey was a very reputable and trusted figure in our community. If Grey could/would do this, who else would? I hope this doesn’t cause mistrust in our community for too many people. It’s shocking and hurtful that someone with such a huge following would do this, but I assure you there are other bloggers out there who are who they say they are. You aren’t going to end up finding out anyone else has faked their death, I hope.
Zillah1 a fellow blogger has a friend who worked with Gina the knitter and when shown a photo of Grey from her photobucket account confirmed that it was indeed the same person. Between that and all of the information people have gathered, I can assure you 100% that our beloved Georgina Grey is indeed Gina Silva. I hope this information will be helpful to those who have been worried about her or wondering where she went. At the end of the post I’ve uploaded photos that you can also find in the facebook group. They’re photos taken from her photobucket account.
If you want more information you can ask here and I’ll do my best to answer your questions, otherwise you can join the facebook group that was started after Grey disappeared.
Below you’ll find a mish mash of info that has taken a couple of weeks to figure out.
Georgiana Grey’s real name is Gina Silva. Her full MAIDEN name is Gina Marie Kuzewski. Both “Grey” and Gina hail from Michigan. Have fun.
You’ll need to register for RAvelry to see those posts, but it’s quick and easy to do so.
http://who.pho.to/gina_silva/ (for future reference, may help to find her next website)
http://www.tumblr.com/tagged/gigisilva (this one is to remind you how HORRIBLE a thing it was that she did, faking her death)
Here’s a list of known names and aliases used by the blogger formerly known as “Grey”. Google these things for yourself so you know nobody is making things up.
Grey (Georigiana Grey)
Gina “Gigi” Silva
-They appear to have the same legal name, Gina Silva.
-Has/had a husband named Nico.
-Former location/birthplace (Michigan)
-Current location (greater San Diego area)
-Proficient knitting, sewing and crafting abilities, and using all for profit.
-Same “voice”. GiGi had an overall friendlier personality but the pacing and tone are identical.
-The moniker “socalvegan”. Grey used this on her blog briefly before deleting it.
-Various illness and vague personal tragedies used as an excuse for falling behind on responsibilities.
-They both proudly discuss and display their tattoos. This is how GiGi was outed the first time.
-Grey references having been an Etsy seller for years. GiGi had been selling since at least 07.
-They have similar interests (Jane Austen, Sleepy Hollow, etc)
-Grey and Gigi were/are both well-known and respected but virtually nobody was close to them or knew any personal details.
-GiGi’s post-zombie friend antigravitykoi is Grey’s (possibly) IRL friend Krys.
-Sarah from Sweet Libertine is a member of Ravelry and possibly knew GiGi; Grey seems to have it out for SL in general.
-One of the profiles GiGi was accused of faking- MissCissy – is almost certainly her (as evidenced byher strange punctuation habits) and appears to be a sort of Grey prototype. She is more opinionated and short, eventually stops doing this !! at the end of every sentence, talks about her piercings and tattoos often, and is more fashion oriented than MommaMonkey.
Required reading for some backstory on the girl we all knew (and loved) as “Georgiana Grey”
http://my.opera.com/Furie/blog/show.dml/4397387 (case study 1)
http://plazajen.com/blog/?p=1672 (this one can require a reloading of the page sometimes in order to be able to read it)
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