Dude, it’s been awhile since I really talked about my life on here. This year has been hard so far, last year wasn’t great either. There was radio silence for awhile and I’ll tell you why. Last year my husband left me. He did it in a cruel manner. I haven’t had contact with him since January. With the separation came a bunch of bull honkey and we ended up having to leave the house we lived in for several years. The kiddos and I had no where to go. We were “homeless” for awhile. We stayed at a homeless ranch over an hour away from where we were living for a couple of weeks. Then we had to leave. We ended up staying with some friends of my mom. There were 7 of us in a 2 bedroom trailer. Ouch. But we had a place to live. I ended up going on TANF and we are on SNAP for food. Sorry if this bounces all over the place.
My bloodsugar has been wacky this year, more so than usual from the stress. It goes from too high to way too low. My bloodsugar dropped to 50 today and I’m not dealing with it very well. Ick. Anyways. I’ve also been going through the whole filing for disability thing. I actually just sent in an appeal today. But yes we had a place to stay. It was hard, things were tight, everyone was stressed. We got really, really lucky. My mom was staying with someone in an apartment complex. She ended up explaining to the manager our situation and an apartment came available in May. So the kids and I are sharing a 2 bedroom apartment with my mom right now. Which is also hard. My mom and I don’t have a good relationship. The kids were diagnosed with autism last year also. A whole lot happened last year. Ugh.
So we have a place to live right now. All of my TANF goes to rent. Buying pretties is WAY out of the question right now. Which makes me sad. ALL THE PRETTIES! So things are stressful right now, there is major friction between my mom and I. But we have a place to live. Just hoping and praying disability comes through sooner rather than later. Patience is hard yo. Today we got the kids all checked in at their schools. Because of no money and TANF going to rent we went to a program that gives backpacks, school supplies and a clothes closet. So the kiddos have most of their school supplies. I’m not quite sure how we’ll get the rest, but we’ll make due. They need shoes. Ugh. We tried to find shoes for them while we were there, but they had nothing in Sascha’s size and everything in Fumiko’s were in just as bad shape as the shoes she already has. So we left empty handed as far as shoes go. But hey, they got school supplies.
There have been many doctor and therapy appointments for me and they continue to be ongoing. The kiddos have their fair share of therapy appointments as well. Fumiko has gone from being completely silent about her fathers absence to saying things like “I want to kill him. My daddy hates my love and I hate his love.”. How in the hell do you respond to that. It’s been hard. And Sascha blames himself despite me telling him a billion times none of this is his fault at all. It’s a delicate situation. Time will heal. We just have to be patient. I want our own place and the kids want it just as bad. I keep telling myself and them to be patient. Things will change. This isn’t permanent. We need a healthy environment. Very bad.
So I’ve been swatching like a mad man, trying to keep myself busy when I can. The insomnia is crazy and often times I don’t sleep. We are trying to find something that works, but I’m limited on what I can take because of the seratonin syndrome. Depression meds are not helping. I have appointments to go in and hopefully try something else. I still go through periods of sick as hell and oh hey I can sort of function today. But things will be okay, yo. The kids are super excited for school. They have some friends in the apartment complex we live in. Fumiko even has a friend right next door. It’s been good for them. So I shall continue swatching and maybe even start writing about our boring lives. I have lots of samples to try and review too. So you’ll see lots of little mini reviews.
Well that was rather long. I said more than I planned. Well here are some pictures of Fumiko. She is proud of her faerie dress and the fact that she finally lost a couple of teeth! Also my nearly bare faced face from today. I didn’t sleep. Eyes are bloodshot and hair was pulled back in a pony-tale. I just haphazardly put on brows and used Mannequin from Glamour Doll Eyes and their new Bad Seed gel eyeliner and a little bit of Unicorn from Fyrinnae on the inner and outer corners and finally mascara. That’s it. I used a face mask a few days back and it broke my face out and irritated it. So I didn’t want to put anything else on my face. So excuse my poor skin. I would have photos of Sascha but I’m going to have to tie him down to something to get some photos. Silly boy. So yes. There. Happy thoughts! I’ve also been lucky to have my best friend through all of this. She was there for me when things were really rough and I am so grateful for her friendship. I’ve also made a few new friendships on this here interwebz that have been really nice.