ALL THE SICK! Ugh. Still not doing well from the cortisone shots. My heart is not happy and my bloodsugar has sky-rocketed. I also found out I have a UTI. So much fun. I had lots of posts planned but I have been out of commission. My chest was settled down a bit today, so that’s good. Fumiko has been home sick with an awful sore throat and fevers. I’m not sure if my fevers have been from the UTI or if I’m getting what Fumiko has.
So I have been watching Orange is the New Black. So far I like it a lot. It’s funny. Hopefully tomorrow I can do some swatches or at least get a review up.
Dude, it’s been awhile since I really talked about my life on here. This year has been hard so far, last year wasn’t great either. There was radio silence for awhile and I’ll tell you why. Last year my husband left me. He did it in a cruel manner. I haven’t had contact with him since January. With the separation came a bunch of bull honkey and we ended up having to leave the house we lived in for several years. The kiddos and I had no where to go. We were “homeless” for awhile. We stayed at a homeless ranch over an hour away from where we were living for a couple of weeks. Then we had to leave. We ended up staying with some friends of my mom. There were 7 of us in a 2 bedroom trailer. Ouch. But we had a place to live. I ended up going on TANF and we are on SNAP for food. Sorry if this bounces all over the place.
My bloodsugar has been wacky this year, more so than usual from the stress. It goes from too high to way too low. My bloodsugar dropped to 50 today and I’m not dealing with it very well. Ick. Anyways. I’ve also been going through the whole filing for disability thing. I actually just sent in an appeal today. But yes we had a place to stay. It was hard, things were tight, everyone was stressed. We got really, really lucky. My mom was staying with someone in an apartment complex. She ended up explaining to the manager our situation and an apartment came available in May. So the kids and I are sharing a 2 bedroom apartment with my mom right now. Which is also hard. My mom and I don’t have a good relationship. The kids were diagnosed with autism last year also. A whole lot happened last year. Ugh.
So we have a place to live right now. All of my TANF goes to rent. Buying pretties is WAY out of the question right now. Which makes me sad. ALL THE PRETTIES! So things are stressful right now, there is major friction between my mom and I. But we have a place to live. Just hoping and praying disability comes through sooner rather than later. Patience is hard yo. Today we got the kids all checked in at their schools. Because of no money and TANF going to rent we went to a program that gives backpacks, school supplies and a clothes closet. So the kiddos have most of their school supplies. I’m not quite sure how we’ll get the rest, but we’ll make due. They need shoes. Ugh. We tried to find shoes for them while we were there, but they had nothing in Sascha’s size and everything in Fumiko’s were in just as bad shape as the shoes she already has. So we left empty handed as far as shoes go. But hey, they got school supplies.
There have been many doctor and therapy appointments for me and they continue to be ongoing. The kiddos have their fair share of therapy appointments as well. Fumiko has gone from being completely silent about her fathers absence to saying things like “I want to kill him. My daddy hates my love and I hate his love.”. How in the hell do you respond to that. It’s been hard. And Sascha blames himself despite me telling him a billion times none of this is his fault at all. It’s a delicate situation. Time will heal. We just have to be patient. I want our own place and the kids want it just as bad. I keep telling myself and them to be patient. Things will change. This isn’t permanent. We need a healthy environment. Very bad.
So I’ve been swatching like a mad man, trying to keep myself busy when I can. The insomnia is crazy and often times I don’t sleep. We are trying to find something that works, but I’m limited on what I can take because of the seratonin syndrome. Depression meds are not helping. I have appointments to go in and hopefully try something else. I still go through periods of sick as hell and oh hey I can sort of function today. But things will be okay, yo. The kids are super excited for school. They have some friends in the apartment complex we live in. Fumiko even has a friend right next door. It’s been good for them. So I shall continue swatching and maybe even start writing about our boring lives. I have lots of samples to try and review too. So you’ll see lots of little mini reviews.
Well that was rather long. I said more than I planned. Well here are some pictures of Fumiko. She is proud of her faerie dress and the fact that she finally lost a couple of teeth! Also my nearly bare faced face from today. I didn’t sleep. Eyes are bloodshot and hair was pulled back in a pony-tale. I just haphazardly put on brows and used Mannequin from Glamour Doll Eyes and their new Bad Seed gel eyeliner and a little bit of Unicorn from Fyrinnae on the inner and outer corners and finally mascara. That’s it. I used a face mask a few days back and it broke my face out and irritated it. So I didn’t want to put anything else on my face. So excuse my poor skin. I would have photos of Sascha but I’m going to have to tie him down to something to get some photos. Silly boy. So yes. There. Happy thoughts! I’ve also been lucky to have my best friend through all of this. She was there for me when things were really rough and I am so grateful for her friendship. I’ve also made a few new friendships on this here interwebz that have been really nice.
She lost two teeth in one night.
And she’s proud of it!
She’s a faerie!
She’s a faerie!
Yay a semi-personal post! A brief thing about life in the last year. Last year my husband and I separated, the kids and I ended up going to a homeless ranch out in Yamhill. Then I slept on the floor of some neighbors houses for a few days, then we ended up staying with some friends for like 3 months. Now the kids and I are sharing an apartment with my mom. Which is not the greatest thing but it’s better than other options. I am currently going through disability appointments and what not.
Sascha’s school is setting up a plan for him for when he starts 7th grade. So hopefully things will be easier for him. He is doing excellent in his new school getting all A’s and B’s and only one C. So much better than his last school. Fumiko is doing well. She likes her new school. She was being bullied by another girl but that is getting solved. I can’t believe she’ll be starting first grade later this year. Sheesh.
I just got back from the ER a little bit ago. My knee just went limp while I was walking out of my room and fell. I mangled myself. I some how twisted the crap out of my foot. They took x-Rays and whatnot, fortunately it’s just a bad sprain. Though the dr said it will take around six weeks to fully heal. Ugh. I was already feeling awful. Thanks knee. Now that things are settling down, I will have more time to actually blog and swatch and do stuff.
I have been working on an indie shop list and just started working on an indie blogger list. So feel free to email me or comment with shops you don’t see on the list or your blog if you blog about indie stuff. The shop list is barely started. I have so much to add and I’ve only been working on the cosmetics list. I still have to do perfume and bath and body and other lists. Oh my. I have lots to swatch so look forward to that becoming a regular thing again.
I hope everyone is doing well!
Just a note to let you know blog will be going down on the 24th, for how long I’m not sure. Starting on the 26th I will no longer have internet, for how long? I’m not sure on that either. So just a warning.
So as I’m sure most of you noticed the blog was down for a few days. I wasn’t able to make payment. Boo. But the hosting company graciously extended my due date to the 24th, so hopefully then. Lots of things have been going on in my personal life. Really big one is my husband and I are separated and the kids and my mom and I have to be out of the house by the 1st. Still trying to find a place to go and applied for a TANF grant this week. So it’s been a struggle. Life, how does it work? Things will be wonky for awhile as I’m not sure what will be happening. But anyways. New indie reddit group and feel free to join my facebook group! WeLoveIndiePretties and Makeup Monstrosity!
I hope everyone is doing well and having a good start to the new year so far. Monthly challenges are back up in Makeup Monstrosity. Hopefully more people will participate this year. Thanks Lovelies!
I’ve got a few things planned as far as blog posts go. A post about blackheads and the nifty foot peely things. I find people asking about the foot peely things, not sure where to get them, let a lone how to use them when they do. Hooray! FEETS! I’ve been doing “research” about blackheads and what not. So hopefully it’ll be a helpful post for someone. In addition to my body trying to destroy me as usual, I caught a sick. I haven’t been able to keep anything down, even water, and the pain, oh the pain. I’ve been having to take a double dose of my sleep medication just to get into bed and feel sleepy. Sick sucks yo.
But yes. I have things floating around in my brains. My Ottlite makeup mirror *finally* came. Now I just have to actually put stuff on my face. Also, blargh, I am still waaaaay behind on swatching all the things. It’s very overwhelming. I need to just jump in head first and hope I am capable of doing nice swatches. Also, in case you didn’t notice, there’s a link to my makeup group ^up there somewhere on the menu. With the help of other awesomely people, I have compiled a large, gigantic, ginormous document of indie companies with shop links and facebook links. So yeah. You should totally go check that out. No pressure. Now I shall go make some tea and hope the burning sand that I feel in my eyeballs goes away. Dontcha hate it when you get super, duper tired and it feels like someone poured molten sand into your balls? Yeah that. It’s quite annoying.
TEAL DEER: Whine, whine, whine I suck and have posts running around my head. I promise I haven’t forgotten, the blog anyways, my brain is another story.
MY BRAAAAIN! COME BACK!!!
While I generally don’t discuss politics with people, I have to say I am extremely relieved and grateful that Obama won. On that note, I am still behind on blog posts. So many things left to swatch. Looks like I’ll be on a low buy for a long time. Though that’s good, right? Between saving for cheek piercings/tattoo, Christmas gifts, Thanksgiving and birthday gifts we’ll be tapped out for awhile. Though happy news! Husband was approved for a sales position, this past week he was finally promoted. I think by the beginning of the year we’ll be totally caught up and alright.
Hopefully I’ll be referred to a neurologist and infectious disease specialist through project access soon. Another one of those, I need to go but I’m afraid to go things. Still bummed that endocrinologist tests came back normal. Seriously starting to believe I really am crazy. Spent yesterday reorganizing my room… again and watching hoarders. Made miso soup last night with lots of mushrooms. Children have been sick, and now I have littlest child’s sick, while bigger child feels better. All they’ve wanted is miso soup. They’ve been eating it all week so I needed to make more. Thank goodness it’s easy to make. Now I just need to find some Japanese squash to put in it. Another day.
I’m not. I rearranged our room today. Got stuff sorted and organized and I may or may not have taken husbands dresser apart and took it outside. I’m sure he’s going to kill me but oh well. Anyways. I decided to take a bath because my back was spasming and I was cold. I opened the drain for the water to drain. I just sat there staring at my feet after all the water drained out. Then it hit me. I’ve been allowing my illness to basically sacrifice my life. I refuse to do that any more. I’m basically going to live my life like I am dying. If I’m gonna go down it’s gonna be in flames. There’s so much I want to do and be and live. I’m not living a life right now. I’m living around an illness. Ain’t happenin’ no more. Nope. That is all. Yay to bath tub revelations.