Alright well it’s not so forbidden around here. At least not anymore. I’d like to share my reasons for openly blogging about sex, or sex related subjects. Let me just say first and foremost I am so glad I started doing reviews on adult products. It’s allowed me to get to know my body, and it’s allowed me to be comfortable in my skin and not feel like I have to hide that part of me. While some women are very comfortable sharing any part of their lives including their private life, I wasn’t and I’m still not in part. I don’t mind sharing toy reviews and letting you know that I enjoyed, or didn’t enjoy it. I don’t mind telling you what I think about it. But I’m not going to go into detail and share intimate experiences that my husband and I share. Those are for us and us a lone. Though I’m sure there are times when you wish I wouldn’t share, jalapeños anyone?
Anyways. When I first started doing reviews for adult products/websites I felt extremely uncomfortable sharing things on my blog. I was paranoid that my family, or Kai’s family would see something they shouldn’t. Hell I was paranoid that Sascha might stumble upon something when he got a little older, which he is now by the way and is reading quite well. :shifty: Though looking back. I think that was really unhealthy. Looking back now I wonder why I ever felt that way. I’m not posting naked pictures of people, I’m not posting photos of anyones nether regions. I’m not going into detail about my experiences or writing graphic stories. The things I write about are part of my life and most peoples lives. It’s natural, why should I be worried or uncomfortable about sharing it?
I grew up believing that it was taboo to talk about sex. Sex was special between you and your husband/wife. It wasn’t “fun”, “silly”, “exciting”, “kinky”, or any other plethora of words you could use to describe it. It was just sex or I suppose lovemaking. You did it when you got married, you did it to create life. I wasn’t taught any different. I suppose that’s why I felt weird or ashamed if I even thought about talking about it, or even going to an adult store to see what they had there. That was definitely forbidden. Who knows what terrible things I might find in a place like that. Okay really there is nothing terrible about it. So yes, there are areas that I avoid, and areas I am most definitely not interested in. But it’s not strange or bad. But yes, bottom line is I grew up believing sex was sex and it was done mainly to create a family and it was forbidden to talk about. Guess what? It’s not. Sex can be exciting and fun and passionate and silly and anything you want it to be with your partner[or whoever you choose]. There is nothing taboo or embarrassing about it. If there is you need to take a step back and figure out why. I think my mind is reeling is too many directions here. Bottom line is, the way I was raised to see sex made me feel really uncomfortable with it and in doing it and it didn’t have to be that way.
Kai and I have discussed talking to Sascha and Fumiko at early ages about sex and their bodies. Sascha asked about it pretty young. We gave him straight forward answers and that pretty much ended his curiosities for the most part. We want them to be comfortable enough to come to us, or for Sascha to talk to his Dad and step mom when he has concern or is thinking about taking that step into his sexuality. I want him to be able to come to me to ask about condoms or whether or not I feel he’s ready to do this, or just to talk. If I am hiding who I am, hiding this part of me, that is a big part of me, then that tells him that he has to hide it too. I don’t want that. I feel as though me being honest here, will allow me the openings I need to talk to my children about these things when they are ready. Now mind you I want them to wait. But that doesn’t always happen, and if they choose not to, I don’t want them to be afraid to talk to me because they think I’m going to freak out or punish them.
And like I said before, this has made me more comfortable in my own skin. It has allowed me to stop feeling uncomfortable about that part of me. It’s allowed me to actually talk to my close friends about problems or questions that I never would have before. Your sexuality isn’t something to be embarrassed by, or feared, it’s private between you and your significant other, but it’s not so private that it should be forbidden or taboo to talk about. it’s a part of who we are and something we should be proud of. We should be teaching our children that, not teaching them them to be afraid of it or hide it. I want my children to be intelligent strong passionate human beings when they grow up. That starts with me and the example I set for them. So I am choosing to teach them not to be afraid of any part of who they are, and to be proud of it, but to also wait to explore that part of themselves until they’re truly ready. Children only have so long to be children, there is no rush to grow up. But all knowledge is worth having.
So you can think of me what you will. You can disagree with my opinions. You can dislike what I post. But I’m going to do it anyways, for myself, for my children, and for anyone who might stumble across something that might help them. It’s a part of me, and it’s a part of you, embrace it and enjoy it.
Here are my questions to you. If you write reviews, or just blog openly about sexuality, why do you do it? Have you always done it? If not what made you start?
If you don’t blog openly about sex, why don’t you? Is it because of family? Do you feel it’s too private to share?