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I know it’s the end of the month but we’ve had things at home going on, things are kind of all over the place. But May is Lyme Awareness Month. Some of you know that after I had Fumiko I was diagnosed with chronic lyme disease. You can read my first post about lyme disease here. Since then I started seeing a doctor at NARA a few years back who re-tested me because she just sort of thought I was crazy. Text came back “negative” so now I don’t have lyme, even though, I believe I still really do. My current doctor is another doctor from NARA and she’s just gone along with the previous doctor. So now I’m on 14 medications and being treated for lots of individual symptoms but I still have no real diagnoses. Though they’ve looked at fibromyalgia, chronic fatigue and rheumatoid arthritis again. Now I worry about my kiddos more since it can be passed on. Since I was bit when I was 8. Well obviously I had it for both pregnancies. I’ve learned that lyme in children can show up as ADHD and autism. Two things both of the children have recently been diagnosed with. I’m going to be talking to some people at NARA I’ve been working with about Lyme to see if maybe they can help me find someone more knowledgeable about it. Some days are okay, other days are bad. We’re just taking every day as it comes. I’m still trying to recuperate from the walk we took last week. Sad I know. My body is still pretty much screaming at me. Since my last post is a little over 4 years old I just wanted to give a little update. I recently printed out a lyme symptom sheet to mark what is going on to take into my doctor and have with me when I talk to some others at NARA to give them a better idea of what is going on. I don’t know how it will help but hopefully it will. Symptoms come and go and change every so often. But they’re always there. Some are constant and just don’t go away. Some go away and come back. I’d like to find someone who can help me and run proper tests. Here’s to hope.

Symptoms of lyme:

Head, Face, Neck

  • Unexplained hair loss
  • Headache, mild or severe, seizures
  • Pressure in head, white matter lesions in brain (MRI)
  • Twitching of facial or other muscles
  • Facial paralysis (Bell’s Palsy, Horner’s syndrome)
  • Tingling of nose, (tip of) tongue, cheek or facial flushing
  • Stiff or painful neck
  • Jaw pain or stiffness
  • Dental problems
  • 10. Sore throat, clearing throat a lot, phlegm (flem), hoarseness, runny nose


  • Double or blurry vision
  • Increased floating spots
  • Pain in eyes, or swelling around eyes
  • Oversensitivity to light
  • Flashing lights, peripheral waves or phantom images in corner of eyes


  • Decreased hearing in one or both ears, plugged ears
  • Buzzing in ears
  • Pain in ears, oversensitivity to sounds
  • Ringing in one or both ears

Digestive and Excretory Systems

  • Diarrhea
  • Constipation
  • Irritable bladder (trouble starting, stopping) or interstitial cystitis

<li>Upset stomach (nausea or pain) or GERD (gastroesophageal reflux disease)

Musculoskeletal System

  • Bone pain, joint pain or swelling, carpal tunnel syndrome
  • Stiffness of joints, back, neck, tennis elbow
  • Muscle pain or cramps, (Fibromyalgia)

Respiratory and Circulatory Systems

  • Shortness of breath, can’t get full/satisfying breath, cough
  • Chest pain or rib soreness
  • Night sweats or unexplained chills
  • Heart palpitations or extra beats
  • Endocarditis, heart blockage

Neurologic System

  • Tremors or unexplained shaking
  • Burning or stabbing sensations in the body
  • Fatigue, Chronic Fatigue Syndrome, weakness, peripheral neuropathy or partial paralysis
  • Pressure in the head
  • Numbness in body, tingling, pinpricks
  • Poor balance, dizziness, difficulty walking
  • Increased motion sickness
  • Light-headedness, wooziness

Psychological Well-being

  • Mood swings, irritability, bi-polar disorder
  • Unusual depression
  • Disorientation (getting or feeling lost)
  • Feeling as if you are losing your mind
  • Over-emotional reactions, crying easily
  • Too much sleep, or insomnia
  • Difficulty falling or staying asleep
  • Narcolepsy, sleep apnea
  • Panic attacks, anxiety

Mental Capability

  • Memory loss (short or long term)
  • Confusion, difficulty thinking
  • Difficulty with concentration or reading
  • Going to the wrong place
  • Speech difficulty (slurred or slow)
  • Difficulty finding commonly used words
  • Stammering speech
  • Forgetting how to perform simple tasks

Reproduction and Sexuality

  • Loss of sex drive
  • Sexual dysfunction
  • Unexplained menstrual pain, irregularity
  • Unexplained breast pain, discharge
  • Testicular or pelvic pain

General Well-being

  • Phantom smells
  • Unexplained weight gain or loss
  • Extreme fatigue
  • Swollen glands or lymph nodes
  • Unexplained fevers (high or low grade)
  • Continual infections (sinus, kidney, eye, etc.)
  • Symptoms seem to change, come and go

<li>Pain migrates (moves) to different body parts

  • Early on, experienced a “flu-like” illness, after which you have not since felt well
  • Low body temperature
  • Allergies or chemical sensitivities
  • Increased effect from alcohol and possible worse hangover


Ii’m a ball of fun. xd My kids don’t even blink when I ask them how to do something because I forgot. Like forgetting where the can opener is or forgetting how to use it oops.

Watch Under Our Skin. It’s a great movie and explains a lot.






Soo. Life in general updates. I got my broken tooth taken care of today at Chemawa. Kharizma picked me up at 6 :3 0am so we could be there by 7 :3 0. At least it was quick. It was the really bad one that had broken off to the gum. Surprisingly it was much more simple than I’d imagined it to be. The dentist and assistant were super nice. They took an x-ray and it looked like the root of my tooth was touching my sinus something cavity. Hopefully my sinus infection will finally clear up. I’ve had one since November. d= I need to have an exam so I can start scheduling appointments instead of just being a walk-in. So hooray one less annoying and painful tooth thing.

In about a month I’ll be starting a lyme protocol. I’m not too hopeful. Nothing has helped much and my health is progressively getting worse. Today while filling out the application again, I forgot my address, I forgot my phone number, I forgot my social security number and I couldn’t recall the date after I was just told. The shaking and twitching is getting worse. I pretty much can’t write anymore. It looks like chicken scratch. It’s just really upsetting and depressing. Everything is so hard, all the time. I was recently put on Paxil, just a low dose 10mg. Right now I’m not sure if it’s helping, but it sure makes me feel drunk and drugged. I’m hoping that will wear off after a little while. I got approved through Project Access to see an endocrinologist. My appointment is on September 13th if I remember right(which I probably don’t. lol). The cardiologist was no help. All they told me was what I already knew. I have tachycardia which is a likely result from the serotonin syndrome. After the endocrinologist is the neurologist. Much fun.

And there goes my mind jumping from subject to subject. I’m not looking forward to the lyme protocol, or how sick it’s probably going to make me. I kind of dread it, but I need to at least try, what if it helps? I would be happy to just have the progression stop. I don’t even care if it makes anything better anymore. I’m tired of falling, I’m tired of hurting, I’m tired of the emotional roller coaster I’m on, I’m just tired of everything, but I’d be happy to just stop any further progression, at least for awhile. Just bleh. Life’s a bitch sometimes.

Kai just randomly came in our room with a towel and a bag of ice and a work shirt. So I asked him what he was doing and said that this was not making sense. And seriously was utterly confused. Then he said he was going to do laundry and had been sitting on the ice wrapped in a towel all day. How I did not notice this is beyond me. But okay.

Since Sascha is home now we’re trying to get prepared for school. I’ve been trying to call to see which school he’s supposed to go to since there are two an equal distance away from us. So after not getting a call back after a few messages from the school district I left a message at the school. Still no call back. I may have to try to get a ride to the school so I can physically go in and talk to them. Sascha has outgrown all of his jeans. I don’t know if he had some sort of growth spurt or what but they’re all too short, and his shoes are too small. His toes are squished at the end of his shoes. d=

Children… oh my. It’s been complete and utter chaos. xd Between them both being stubborn and all the sick, oh man. It’s been crazy. They definitely need time to adjust. They’re 6 years apart. Fumiko missed him and wants to play with and on him, and he doesn’t want to play with his littler sister and just wants her to leave him alone. I’m not sure who brought home the sick but everyone has been sick. d=

So uh this is longer than I anticipated and I’m not sure if I posted all that I meant to. d= Damn brain. Oh well I can always make another novel, I mean post if I remember.

EDIT/Oh yeah. We have a new cat. His name is Zero and he’s super sweet. My best friend ended up having to move and couldn’t take either of her cats with her. So I volunteered to take Zero if he adjusted to new surroundings. And he’s totally fine. Mochi still hisses a bit at him but they play. He’s giant too. Like SERIOUSLY GIANT. He weighs 19 pounds and he’s not done growing yet. Mochi weighs 5 pounds. lol Do that math. He’s a big fluffy lug of a potato sack.


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