I’m alive

I won’t say I’m feeling much better, but I am definitely feeling better. My doctors visit on Wednesday was wonderful. My doctor actually went over to the pharmacy and got me a Gabapentin to take after I told her what had been happening. It was a great visit I shared a lot with her, she is definitely willing to work with me. They took six vials of blood for tests. She thinks I have a co-infection and is hoping my blood work will giver her some idea of where to start since she isn’t familiar with Lyme. I’m just thrilled that she’s willing to try to help me. If I haven’t said before, my doctor is somewhat of a hippie/new age/whatever works let’s do it kind of doctor. She said I was a faerie incarnate and told me to get back into what makes me truly happy. Which I’m going to do. And I won’t lie her telling me I was a faerie incarnate made me warm and fuzzy inside. xd I want to plaster our walls with crystals and told her as much.

She told me to do it. When my mom moved in with us I kind of set my beliefs and passions for spiritual things aside because I couldn’t deal with the comments from my mom. She isn’t able, or at least wasn’t able, I don’t know anymore, to let me believe what I believe. So it was just easier to set it aside than listen to the backhanded comments. I only recently started to kind of get back into it. I pulled my crystals and pendulum out and put what few crystals I had left around my bed. I’m at the point where, I’m willing to do whatever is going to help me and I miss that part of me. So don’t be surprised when you see random posts about crystals, or various other “strange” things, because they’re normal to me. hehe It’s was funny though.

The day before I saw Dr. Bobby our chiropractor. He at one point called me and indigo child, which my doctor also did on Wednesday. My chiro also told me at one point that I needed to go play with the faeries. I’m still not quite sure if he was serious or not. haha I’ve got crazies trying to help my crazies yo! I wouldn’t have it any other way. :d

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My Pretty Zombie Anniversary Sale Yo!

My dearest Andrea from My Pretty Zombie is celebrating her company anniversary with an awesome sale for you! With code THIRTYTHREE you get 33% off! Woot! Sale runs from 07/27 through 07/29. You can find my swatches here, here, here, here, here, and here. WTF hehehe Don’t forget to pick up your Husbandry Afflictions trio. ;)

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Hey look, it’s not a long post

That’s right, it should be rather short. I’m starting to feel better. At least I’m not throwing every blessed thing I eat or drink up. I’ve been able to keep down some food and still watered down juices. I think it was the Naproxen that was making me sick. After looking it up again it finally sunk in that it was generic Extra Strength Midol/Aleve which I can’t use because they make me vomit horribly. Since I’ve stopped taking the Naproxen I’ve been able to actually keep things down.

Thank the universe, seriously I was going crazy. My body still aches like a mofo, it’s super tender to the touch and the numbness/pins & needles have become much worse. My migraines or I guess I should say migraine is getting worse, and the light nearly blinds me and causes my migraine to hurt more. My right ear is killing me, it feels like someone is stabbing me in the ear and yesterday for whatever reason the top right-ish side of my head became really hot and tender, even to comb my hair puts me in tears. I have no idea what happened, I don’t remember hitting my head, but it sure does hurt.

I have another appointment with the chiropractor which I’m not looking forward to since everything hurts so bad already. t.t Then tomorrow I go see my new doctor again, hopefully things will get sorted out and she’ll either put me back on my gabapentin or have something else to replace it. It’s pretty obvious by now that my pain stems from nerve issues since the vicodin did nothing.

On that note, I know of many, seriously, there are a lot of pregnant people out there right now and I know of a few that just recently gave birth, so you all should go check out baby shower invitations since I know there are a few of you that are planning baby showers and were asking for suggestions. :d

Oh is anyone else having issues with blogger/gfc? I can’t see most of the blogs I follow on blogspot and blogger won’t load at all for me. The last few days I’ve also noticed my gfc thinger is missing again as well.

Now I shall go attempt to actually get dressed. t.t

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Hello Death

I feel like death. That’s the only way I can describe how I feel right now. I’ve been off of the gabapentin for a few days and I feel more awful than usual and now extremely panicked. I still can’t keep anything but watered down juices down. I feel like I’m starving. Just when I think I’ve finally eaten something that I’m not going to puke back up, up it comes.

I saw our chiropractor yesterday. I think it was yesterday. I can’t remember now. My mom pretty much made the appointment for me and forced me to go after falling in the shower. It’s been well over a year since I’ve seen him. Only because my body is so sensitive even using the lightest setting on his activator tool it hurts like a bitch. I’m not sure how many times I cried on the way to the chiropractor yesterday, but I know I cried for my entire visit and ended up having a panic attack after my adjustment. Between the pain and the vertigo from the table coming back up I just lost it.

The pain from the adjustment as gentle as he was, was incredibly overwhelming and excruciating. Being car sick and dizzy from the trip there didn’t help. I’m supposed to go back in Tuesday. I can’t say I’m looking forward to it, because I’m not. I know in the long, really, really long run it’ll be helpful. But right now my body is screaming and stiff, and I hurt so bad. I’ve been dizzy constantly for the last couple of days, and I’ve had a migraine since yesterday that won’t go away. My stomach has ached for over a week now. All of my muscles and joints and bones ache and burn and hurt. Last night one or both of my arms from the tips of my fingers up to my shoulder were numb and I couldn’t sleep. My right hand and fingers keep going numb off and on today. My heart/chest won’t stop aching and I feel like I’m suffocating.

All I want to do is cry and sleep, and I can’t sleep and can’t not cry. I’m miserable and I hurt. I don’t want to complain, I want to suck it up, but I can’t. Literally everything hurts, I hurt, and I feel like I’m going crazy.

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Just a little update

Sascha has been home since the third and it’s been awesome. Kai decided to take a week off while he was home, however this was the only week he was able to take off. Which kind of sucks because we’d planned on going to the zoo and the coast/aquarium while he was off. That won’t be happening this week since his last check went entirely to rent and some groceries. So we’ll have to go on his regular days off after he gets paid next week. With that said it’s been nice to have him home for a week.

My health has decided to freak out recently. I’m not sure if I ended up with food poisoning or if it was just my lyme freaking out. It sure felt like food poisoning. The past week I’ve been getting car sick. I’ve never been car sick in my life. It’s been so bad that I’ve actually had to go in and get sick at Kai’s work. It’s really frustrating and annoying. Today is the first time in about four days that I’ve kept something other than watered down orange juice down.

This morning Kai got a call from his Uncle Terry asking if they could stop by today. So we had to hurry up and shower and get ready. I’ve had to use a shower chair for awhile now because I can’t stand up long enough to actually finish taking a shower. It causes my heart to pretty much go nuts and I get too lightheaded/dizzy. So when I stood up to turn around and turn the water off my left hip and knee went numb and I fell in the shower, again. The whole reason I started using the chair was because I fell from getting dizzy in the shower a couple of times before. This time I really hurt myself. Beyond it being incredibly upsetting and painful it’s embarrassing and I hate this. I’m just so tired of it. The entire left side of my body feels sore and bruised and completely torqued. My left foot up to my knee is half numb and sore. My left wrist hurts so bad it feels broken and my arms muscles have knots and spasms. My right ankle feels badly sprained. I’m just so much more sore after falling and I ran out of gabapentin last night and have no refills. The naproxen that the new dr put me on does nothing for pain, so now I have absolutely nothing. The gabapentin at least helped a little. The naproxen does nothing. It’s supposed to be extra strong aleve which I told her didn’t help me at all. :( She said she wasn’t going to prescribe me narcotics and wanted me to try this. I was living on otc pain pills before I went in, why are they suddenly going to work now?

I’m just tired of whining and complaining at the doctor, to have them not listen to me. I went in for lyme and pain, and neither are being addressed at all. I wanted something to use for pain while Sascha was here so I could try to do as much as possible without hurting too much. That kind of happened. My first doctor gave me 28 vicodin to use at night. However she prescribed me the lowest dose which I have to double to have any relief at all. So I have 5 left. Bleh. I just want to be able to enjoy all of my time with the kids while Sascha is home instead of dealing with pain and migraines and crazy emotions because my body isn’t functioning. It’s hard to enjoy things when your body is screaming with freaking pain.

Kai’s aunt and uncle ended up taking us out to eat at Sushi & Maki and then took the kids to Toys R Us and got Fumiko a cute hello kitty plushie and Sascha got a halo lego kit. I didn’t eat much and I’m glad I didn’t. I got really car sick on the way home and ended up getting sick after his aunt and uncle left. Goodbye yummy spicy tuna roll. :SICK: Fortunately I’ve kept dinner down so far. Though my back has been hurting more and more. Tonight is going to be fun.

Anyways. Between Sascha being home and being sick, I haven’t been able to get much done. Today is the first time I’ve worn makeup in a week. >.< I know there were spelling errors trying to type one handed, but I can’t find them at the moment and my spell check has decided to stop telling me I’ve misspelled words. >.<

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Lover of Indie and Asian Beauty! Love As Thou Wilt.


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