My sudden urges

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I have this sudden urge to listen to Tori Amos. I haven’t really listened to her much in well years. She used to be the only artist I enjoyed listening to. Now I just need to copy it from my desktop to the laptop. I shall add that to my to-do list. I finally got my review photos uploaded, now I just need to write the reviews.

I have my dragon’s blood incense burning. The only one I like is by Gonesh. By like I mean love. I seriously love this incense. It literally makes me feel at peace. It smells like home and comfort. I’ve been feeling so, so. I started to feel somewhat better, then my tooth broke, and I started having all sorts of mouth pain and ear pain and I started my period. It’s almost over. Thank goodness. I have reviews I want to do. I went in the other morning at 630am to get my braces off. Only to find they only scheduled me for a 20 minute consultation… My ortho basically tried to convince me to leave my braces on and even resorted to trying to make me feel bad for not having been in for almost a year. Sorry sir but I’ve been sick and we’ve had other issues, like car and money and well other things happen that kind of prevented me from getting in. It’s also especially hard when you’re in twice a month. -.- I’m trying to tell him that my lyme disease is wreaking havoc on my body and he’s worried about the last couple of small spaces that he wants to close. THEN after trying to convince me to keep them on, he tells me that my teeth are so damaged around the braces that they may fracture when they take them off. And you say you think I should keep them on longer…? Alrighty. So I have an appointment for the 15th to get them off. I am now terrified that my teeth are going to break even more. If only my fears were silly. This week a filling fell out of my tooth and the back half of that tooth broke off into the gums.1

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  1. I found out after seeing my orthodontist that it actually had a filling in it. He said it looks like the filling fell out and then the tooth broke.
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Blech, tooth soap

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I received my tooth chips from Etsy. I’ve been using them for the last 2 days. While I’m thrilled that they don’t bother my mouth, the taste is terrible. Alright so it’s not that bad, I’m getting used to it. But the first couple of times I brushed my teeth with them. Ugh it was nasty. The soap taste is slowly fading away so I’m sure I’ll be used to it by the end of the week.

I’m still waiting for my deodorant. I guess my order got lost or something. It’s supposed to be sent out tomorrow. I ordered the full size shampoo and conditioner bar in mango. I can’t wait for it to come. I love the samples I got. I ordered a tube of pixie epoxy from Fyrinnae1 and I ordered a few samples from tkb trading as well. With my limited funds I figured this might be my best bet for right now. I can’t wait to try them. :)

My dad called me. Well technically Jeannie called me. I haven’t talked to them in well over a year. The last time I talked to them was when she was kicking my dad out and he had called to see if he could stay with us. Later that night my dad called me back to tell me Jeannie was in the hospital. My dad had found her passed out on the floor in the kitchen with the phone off the hook. The hospital told my dad that she was severely dehydrated, mostly because of her alcohol consumption and the combination of medications she was on and not drinking water. I tried calling him to check in a couple of weeks later and someone hung up on me. At least that’s what I thought it was. I must have called close to 100 times that day, only to be hung up on. So I figured they didn’t want to speak to me. Or she didn’t want him to speak to me. With all that I was dealing with and have been dealing with. I couldn’t emotionally deal with that on top of everything else. I love my dad to death. But I can’t put my self in that position to try to call him and be hung up on. I tried calling a few more times. Kai even tried to call, and nothing. It would ring once or twice then click and hang up. So I decided to wait for my dad to contact me. But he didn’t.

Jeannie and my dad said their phone had been turned off a few times. That was probably why. I don’t know whether or not to believe them. Every time I’ve called a number that had been turned off I got some sort of warning saying this number is no longer in server, etc. I don’t know. But I’m glad they finally called. They reassured me they weren’t mad at me. They both said in the future if they call me again during a fight to tell them I’m not getting involved. I’ll try, but what am I supposed to do when my dad calls me asking if he can stay here because his wife is kicking him out? Ugh.

Funny story, well kind of. In retrospect, it’s funny. We’ve had a leak in our bathtub faucet for months and months. Well last night it got worse. By worse I mean it was like the faucet was just on. So Kai and I start messing around with it trying to figure out why it’s leaking. I couldn’t turn this one part so I asked Kai to try. So of course he turns it with no problem. All of a sudden the faucet shoots off and water is shooting into the hallway and all over the walls and flooding the floor and going EVERYWHERE. Hai we’re soaked. Fumiko starts crying and freaking out, Kai frantically runs downstairs to find the shut off for the water. I’m holding a towel over the faucet so it goes INTO the tub instead of everywhere else. Kai gets downstairs and suddenly realizes that the water shut off valve is BEHIND THE DOOR THAT CHARLIE NAILED SHUT! Ohdearuniversehelpus. So he um finally got it off and got the water shut off and came back up. My mom was laughing. It looked like a scene out of a comedy. By now Fumiko and Sushicat are in the bathroom with us trying to see what happened and playing in the water and we’re just standing there soaked.

Kai and Ben have made 2 runs to home depot now to try to fix it. The first time they apparently talked to someone who knew not what they were talking about and got them to buy replacement parts that our faucet thinger didn’t even have… So Kai spent awhile watching youtube videos and messing with it trying to get stuff to fit. Then put it back together, turned the water on only to find that it didn’t help at all. So they went back again. He just called me to let me know that they were referred to someone who actually knew what they were doing and got them the right replacement parts. Then told them that any of the new faucets they could have purchased wouldn’t have worked. Awesome. Hopefully it works this time.

I’m hungry. However eating is painful. Half of a tooth broke off into the gum, so I can only chew on the right side of my mouth. However chewing on the right side causes this horrible pain to shoot down into my lower jaw. I need to call the orthodontist and get my braces off and have my teeth fixed. I have an appointment for the 17th at NARA. Hopefully the new doctor there can help me.

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  1. speaking of Fyrinnae. Kai and Ben just got home and checked the mail from yesterday. My pixie epoxy and a pretty polar bear sample were in the mail! Hooray!
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The early bird catches the worm first

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Right? Maybe. Yesterday morning Kai was up at 5am to ride his bike over to our local GNC to help with inventory. He got home just in time to catch a ride to work with Kinon. He got home at 830pm. This morning he was up at 4am and had to be at his store at 5am to prepare for his inventory. He isn’t getting off until 830pm tonight. I feel bad for him. He was required to work Sunday which is his usual day off. So he’s been working 6 days straight, plus doing inventory and helping others with their inventory. He has store inspections and all sorts of things coming up so he’s been quite stressed. I hope it all blows over soon so he can relax.

Kharizma is picking me up at 4pm today to get our Durango. There goes $150. Ugh. Please dear car don’t break anymore right now. I suppose I shall go get dressed and ready. I tried to call NARA to make a doctors appointment to get my IUD removed, but they weren’t in. I left a message so hopefully they get back to me soon. After that’s done with, the next step is getting my braces taken off. Which I’m quite afraid of doing. My teeth are so damaged between the Lyme and the braces I’m paranoid that they’ll fall apart when they take them off. I have one tooth that is severely cracked and pieces are broken off. I’ve been trying to wait for our insurance to reset so I can get it taken care of. We just didn’t have the funds to pay for it. So now that our insurance should be reset for the year it’s time to take care of it. And well all of the other dental issues in my mouth. Come pay day I’m purchasing this from etsy. It’s tooth soap. My body is so sensitive right now that even the natural toothpastes are causing sores and pain in my mouth. I’m hoping this will work for me. It shouldn’t bother my mouth. It has less than half the ingredients of the last natural toothpastes I’ve tried.

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It’s one of those days

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It truly is. One of those days where I can’t even enjoy twitter for more than a minute or so at a time. The updates come too fast and my brain can’t process it. The little elves with red hot pokers are back stabbing every inch of my body. I’m exhausted. My legs are having horrible cramps. Though one magnesium nearly knocks me out. It feels like someone is trying to scoop out my heart. And you know that feeling of dizziness, when the room is spinning sometimes when you close your eyes? Yeah that feeling is filling up my lungs and chest. So what, my chest is dizzy and lightheaded? My period should be starting any day now. My boobs are killing me. Blah, blah, blah, complain, complain.

Last night Ben and Kai stopped at Five Guys burgers and Ben bought us dinner. Was super yummy, but I think the fries killed me. I had them get extra lettuce and tomato on my burger, it was so fresh and delicious. I’ve really been craving meat. I’ve literally been living on fresh and frozen fruit, yogurt and smoothies. I haven’t been doing well with cooked food. The last few days I’ve started eating little bits of it. My mom made meatloaf the day before so I had a piece of that. Literally all I want is beef sashimi, a spicy tuna roll with avocado, caesar salad, thai iced tea, and fruit. That’s it. Just, raw. I swear I’m not crazy. :( Or maybe I am. I can’t even hardly remember what I did yesterday, or most of what I ate. I couldn’t remember my last blog post.

Kharizma is going to go to the doctor with me. Since NARA has a new doctor. Hopefully he knows something about Lyme. I need to get my iud out regardless. I think it’s making me sicker. I am hoping that once I get it out maybe some of my symptoms will ease up a little. I hope. I’m going to ask about getting the shot, or see where they stand with hysterectomy now since I’m almost 30. I’m afraid to take birth control pills. My memory is getting bad and half the time I can’t freaking remember what I went into the kitchen for, or why I opened a browser, or what I ate or what I just said. I’m afraid if they give me pills I won’t remember to take them, or will not remember that I did take them. I can’t get pregnant again. I don’t want any more children and I don’t think my body could survive another pregnancy. Sascha’s was bad, Fumiko’s was worse, I can’t do it again.

I’m um going to be talking about my reason for wanting a hysterectomy, so if you are squeamish or don’t want to hear about female issues, then I suggest you forget reading any further. Just saying.
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